The Dog's Diary: Playtime
by Natmonkey
Summary: The fourth entry in the dog's diary. While Astoreth is off trying to save the Circle, Stubbs has a playdate with Morrigan.


"Very well. I suppose your mangy beast will have to keep me company then?" Angry female is angry. The lady and her friends are going to the house she came from, but not everyone can fit in the wooden thingy they need to get across all that water. The lady's old house looks like a big stone male thingy. Who makes a house like that? So silly. The lady wants the angry female to stay behind; she must be sick of her complaining. And how many times do I have to say I'm _not_ mangy?

"Do I have to stay here too, lady?" I don't mind. I can bother the angry female all day long. I like seeing those hairy lines above her eyes pull together. It's funny.

The lady nods and gets in the wooden thingy with Tin Can, the nice female and the big male. Neat! Now I can spend all day with the angry female. I carefully take her wrist in my mouth and pull her to the house over there. They must have sleeping places. "Get yourself a nice room!" the lady shouts. She throws a little jingly pouch at the angry female, who catches it easily with the hand I don't have in my mouth. She's good. Maybe I could throw a stick for her? Oh boy, that look she's giving the lady isn't very nice.

"What do you think you are doing, dog? I am perfectly able to walk myself." Oh, I know that. "You need not guide me." I know that too. I just like making her shout. Her face turns all red and angry when she does that. Great fun. "_Release me_!" she screams. Yes, red face, angry eyes, hairy lines above them pulled together. What did I say? Too funny.

Angry female pushes the door open herself. This looks just like the house in that place a while ago, just not as full of humans. "Greetings," she says to the human standing behind some kind of table. He has a big belly. The lady's belly has been growing too lately. She eats too much.

"Good day, miss." The human nods his head. "How can I help you?"

"Your best and most expensive room, my good man." Angry female slams the jingly pouch on the table.

The human laughs. "All our rooms are the same price, miss. Twenty silvers a night."

"Oh..." Angry female sounds a little disappointed. "How many rooms are available?"

"All three rooms are free." He looks at me strangely. "Just make sure your dog doesn't do his business inside."

"Hey!" Who does this human think I am? I am a well-raised mabari. "I'm not going to poop inside!"

Angry female pats my head. "He assures you that his business shall be conducted outside. In any case, I would like all of your rooms. Do you offer room service?" She is acting funny. Almost nice. Weird.

"Afraid not." He shakes his head. "If you want anything, you will have to get it yourself."

"Oh, very well. So much for repaying your mistress for leaving me here with you," she sighs to me. Two yellow metal things come out of the jingly pouch. "Keep the change."

"This is too much, young lady." The man dives under his table and comes up with a bottle. "Take this, then, with my thanks."

She opens it and sniffs. "Hmm, I can surely find a use for this. Come, Stubbs."

"Okay." We walk to the rooms. "What did he give you?"

"An alcoholic beverage," she says, settling on the bed. "I have no need for these things, but perhaps your mistress does." From her pack she takes a bag, and her eyes become dark when she sees it is empty. I feel some screaming coming up. "_You ate my entire bag of herbs, you foolish dog_!"

I hang my head. "Sorry. I had bad breath, so I thought eating your plants might help."

"Several of those herbs were poisonous; you should be pleased they did not kill you." Giving me an angry look, she throws away her bag. "Marvellous! Now what am I to do?"

"Well..." I jump onto the bed next to her. "I'm a little bored. Maybe we could go and play outside?"

Angry female crosses her arms. "Certainly not. You have some nerve, you flea-ridden beast. And your breath still leaves much to be desired. Leave me be."

"Aww..." I rub my face against her shoulder. "Please? Please? I'm sorry I ate your plants, really. They didn't even work. But hey!" I got a good idea! "Now you know they don't cure bad breath! And who found that out for you? Huh? Huh?"

She rolls her eyes. "I knew that already, mongrel. I do not need you to provide breakthroughs in herbalism for me."

I don't even know what that means. "Please play with me?" I give her a big kiss on the face. "I'll keep asking, and asking, and asking, until you come outside and throw a stick for me!"

"_Disgusting_!" Angry female wipes her face. More angry looks. "I will not indulge you! Play with your mistress when she returns."

"The lady is getting too fat to play with me." I rest my head on her lap. "_Please_ play with me? Please? Please? Please? Pretty please? Please? Please? Please? Please? I'm so bored! Please? Please? Please? Please? Pl..."

"Fine!" she screams and jumps off the bed. "Follow me then. Anything to save me from your insufferable pleading."

Angry female almost runs outside. Yay, we're going to play fetch! Oh, look at that. It's one of those things to cross water with. I'm going to pee on it! There, all done. I rule this place too now. "Angry female, play with me!"

"Very well, I shall play with you." With a weird smile she goes down on all fours. "But we shall play on my terms, then." And just like that, angry female is gone. There is an animal where she was. This animal looks a little like a dog, but not really. It has thick, grey fur and a long snout.

"Uhm, angry female?" I step close and sniff the animal. It does smell like her. "What are you?"

"Yes, 'tis I," she says in a bark. Gasp! Now she _really_ talks like me! "I have taken the shape of a wolf." And so she speeds away. "Catch me if you can!"

A wolf? I learned a new word, and got to see a new animal. Neat! Oh, oh, got to catch her. Oh boy! Playtime! Yay!


End file.
